Quilting Quips and Quotes

You Know You’re a Quilter When…
….. you work for a year on a quilt and then give it away
….. you watch TV with a needle in your hand.
….. there is a sale on thread and you buy 10 spools… all in in white 100% cotton.
….. you buy 5 packages needles… and they’re all the same size.
….. you use the word “between” more often as a noun than as a preposition.
…..you happily spend all day prewashing quilt fabric but when it comes to doing “real” laundry, you procrastinate til everyone is on their last pair of undies and socks.
…..you request double prints when you take your film in for processing – and there isn’t a kidshot on the roll.
…..when the phrase “Block Parent” doesn’t refer to neighbourhood safety
…..when your 3 yr old knows what an Ohio Star is and looks forward to finding “frabric” in the mail as much as you do.
…..you insist that the floor tiles in your new den are 12″ square, so you can lay your quilt top or backing down and square it up perfectly.
…..Your sewing room is the gathering room of the house, not the family room.
…..You have no qualms about driving for 2-3 hours just to see a quilt show or go to a quilt store.
…..You start saving those jeans the kids outgrow instead of donating them. They will make an excellent jean quilt someday.
…..When you get meat at the store, you cut out the good parts of the freezer paper and save it.
…..You have a section in your daytimer specifically for quiltnotes, quiltnet notes and ideas that may come up.
…..your non quilting friends start sending you cards with quilts on them because they know you’d like it.
…..People are constantly picking ravelings off your shoulders, out of your hairs, off your back, etc.
….. when your mind associates the number 13 with a needle size instead of “Friday the…”.
….. the 5/8″ seam allowances used on patterns for clothing look EXACTLY 2 1/2 times too big.
….. you have to convert the bed in the guest bedroom, which you’ve been using as a sorting table for fabrics pulled from “the stash” for the next project, back into a bed so that a friend can stay over for the night without sleeping on the couch. (Of course, the friend _could_ sleep on the couch, but you’d have to move some of the quilts, including the current project, off of it first.)
…..you have more DEADLINE entries in your Daytimer related to quilting than you have for work or family – or worse yet, more than work and family combined!!!
…..the speedial number on your phone is to the local quilt shop
…..Everyone in your building comes to you when they have a rip in clothes or a falling hem, because they know you have needles and thread.
…..every time your boss wears a particular shirt you have to bite your tongue to keep from asking him if you can have it when he gets tired of it.
….. you don’t bite your tongue
…..Your fingertips are so rough that you can’t pull on a pair of panty-hose, but you don’t care
…..You look at fabric clothing in charity stores and garage sales, but not with the idea of wearing it.
…..”Featherweight” doesn’t mean a boxer.
…..your ironing board is always set up but you never iron clothes on it.
…..there’s more fabric in the house than food.
…..you ask for fabric or gift certificates to fabric stores instead of other gifts for your birthday, anniversary, or Christmas.
…..you consider fabric strewn about the room as either a) furniture or b) decor, either of which means you don’t have to pick it up. 😉
…..Your family buys you “quilt” gifts (fabrics, scissors, tools and toys) for birthday and Christmas.
….. you find yourself reaching for a head of lettuce in the grocery store and realize you are wearing a thimble on your finger
…..you offer to teach teenagers how to quilt.
…..A book of block patterns sits on your bedstand instead of a novel.
…..Your trash never has fabric scraps larger than 1″ by 1″ in it.
…..Your sock drawer has fat quarters in it.
…..you go into the feed store and buy three jars of udder cream, two packages of horse bandages (for thimbles) and three jars of orvus soap, and you don’t have any pets.
…..You clean up your sewing room and your kids want to know if you’re sick or leaving!
…..”stash” isn’t a verb meaning to stuff something in a drawer
…..your “UFO”s aren’t from outer space.
…..you remember when cotton cost you $0.85 a yard…and you still have some of it!
…..Your first thought when someone announces they’re expecting is, “What kind of baby quilt should I make?”
…..you’ve been in the store so much you tell the clerks which table the bolts should be put away on.
…..you hide your scissors!

1 Response to Quilting Quips and Quotes

  1. Pingback: Quilting quips | Zyltech

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