Growing up- Christmas gifts

I’ve been thinking about my brother’s request for a jacuzzi for Christmas. Since I could no more purchase him a jacuzzi than fly to the moon unassisted, I think I will wrap up a jar of mixed beans with a label on it “Do-it-yourself Jacuzzi”.

This has made me think of some other amusing Christmas gifts from the past… like the large tin of paper circles my Mom gave me one year… all with the word “Tu-it” inscribed on them. (Think that might have been a hint that I don’t get enough done?)

And the time when my (then) father-in-law requested a black maid for Christmas… I made him a black rag mammy doll about 12″ tall and embroidered on the back of it “Maid in America”.

Or the year when my Dad ruined forever any of us being able to give my Mom a bottle of “Charlie” perfume as we had done for several years prior. Somewhere he found a quart bottle of the stuff. (You read that right… that’s a quart… not a quarter ounce.) She opened the box and stared at it for a minute and then said “Well, Charles, am I supposed to wear it or drink it?”

And then there was the year the house burned and we were at Aunt Sarah’s for Christmas. There was a GIANT package for me under the tree from Dad. In it was a slightly smaller package and so on until the last tiny package yielded a pearl handled pen knife.

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